Content Warning: this blog post includes a personal story related to suicide.
On Wednesday, September 28, nonprofit organization Active Minds made a stop on the Albertus campus during their Send Silence Packing tour. The powerful exhibit includes nearly 1,000 backpacks with messages attached from individuals who have lost a loved one to suicide. The immersive experience aims to spark conversation, inspire action for suicide prevention, and end the stigma about mental health on college campuses.
Sarah Barr, Albertus’ Media Communications Specialist, reflects on her experience at the exhibit and opens up about a time when an attempted suicide of a friend impacted her life:
“Ballet is hard. I was 12 years old when I first understood how hard it was. No, not the countless hours of practice but the constant pursuit of perfection – achieving the right look, the right line, the right weight. For a fellow dancer and friend of mine – she was just 16 – that pursuit drove her to attempt suicide.
The news came as a surprise but not a shock, if that makes any sense. Here was a young dancer who was considered “the next one” – as she was chosen to perform more intricate and high-profile roles. But perhaps the jump from “little girl parts” to grand pas de deux was too big of a leap all at once.
When my friend returned to class, she was treated gingerly – no yelling by the ballet master; no insistence on doing something again and again until told to stop; no weigh-in or mention of how her body had changed.
Movies like Black Swan, The Turning Point, and The Red Shoes hold a mirror up to the discipline that’s demanded of a dancer. Perhaps a mental microscope is needed to examine the depth of the physical and emotional toll this artform can have – far beyond the creaky knees and arthritic hips later in life.
Thankfully, today, the ballet business envisions a more holistic approach – diet, rest, and mental health are as important to the balance of a ballerina as the barre or dance partner.
As I saw all those backpacks on the Albertus campus, I felt how they could have easily been replaced by pairs of toe shoes. I practically tiptoed on the grass as I reflected upon a friend’s suicide attempt I hadn’t spoken about in years. How that introduction to suicide left a lasting impression.
Let the silence take a final bow – let’s Send Silence Packing.”
Sr. Cathy Buchanan, Interim Coordinator of Dominican Ministries, also offered a reflection and prayer for Albertus students:
“My heart breaks for so many young vibrant beautiful students who were in so much pain and didn’t feel like they could talk to anyone about how much they were hurting. I pray that here at Albertus, our students know that they are loved and my hope is that they will feel safe to share their pain with our Albertus staff and faculty who so desperately want to help them and be here to support them. I grieve for the families, friends, faculties, and staff who are left behind and who are now in pain over losing someone they loved very much.”
Keep the conversation going and learn more about what’s behind the backpacks by visiting activeminds.org/backpacks.
Are you in crisis? Text BRAVE to 741-741 or call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK for free, 24/7, and confidential support.